My Caffeinated God

Almost a year ago exactly, I wrote a blog post “Changing theWorld: One little step at a time.” It was all about taking small steps to accomplish something big in the name of God. When writing that post I had felt led to sign up for school to become a social worker, so that I might make changes in the lives of orphaned children. The article was about turning dreams into a tangible reality, and that very day I signed up for my first social work class. I had the expectation that I would chip away at it slowly and complete it sometime in the far future. I was excited, encouraged, but to be honest, I was a bit scared and a tiny bit doubtful. Part of me thought “How on earth am I going to do this? I have 5 kids, 3 with special needs, already run an orphan ministry and have a husband in school to become a firefighter!” I knew God was calling me to step-up, but I truly was a bit doubtful. At times, having 5 kids can be exhausting…truly exhausting. I trusted my Father though, and moved forward, unsure how exactly my future would unfold.

            Almost a year later, all I can say is God really DOES know what He is talking about. When He is the one in charge, the Holy Spirit steps in and amazing things are accomplished. My original though had been one course a semester, maybe even a year, depending on how I could handle it. Funny how I assumed it was me who would have to handle things (we all know who really handled it). Today, however, thanks to God’s amazing power, I am enrolled in school full-time, almost done my first year, have somehow maintained an A grade point average and am quickly on the way to finishing my degree in 3 more years. I often wonder how it all worked out so well. I am not a coffee drinker, have never even had a cup my entire life. Yet the way I have managed to somehow get through everything I have to get through is by staying awake long hours. I basically put my kids to bed at 7pm, and then spend from 7pm-midnight or later doing homework, folding laundry, working on ministry things and spending time with my hubby. By the time I go to bed it is about 12:30 or 1:00am in the morning, and then I wake up the next day at 6am. I should be exhausted. Prior experience has taught me that doing such ridiculous things would leave me unconscious and napping every day. Yet somehow, somehow I feel like I have all the caffeine in the world to get me through each day. I finally realized what that caffeine was. It was my God. My amazing, powerful, and all knowing God, who knew from the beginning that He would be the driving force behind what I do. After all, I am merely a tool for Him to use. God is my caffeine and the only reason I am able to do what I do.

            Here’s the real kicker. I reread my post from that day a year ago, and realized I had divulged one of those dreams you often don’t reveal to people, or don’t think will ever come true, like becoming a president, or opening an orphanage, or something that seems so unfathomable you feel silly even saying it. My dream had been to one day open an adoption agency, free of charge, to make adoptions more accessible. Well…as usual….me with my little faith, thought it nothing more than a pipe dream. But GOD knew it was a reality, He was planting a seed because He knew it would come to fruition one day SOON! Today, only 12 months later after having a tiny little dream which I thought would never amount to anything, I am actually in the process of opening up an adoption agency with a great bunch of people! It is an adoption agency with significantly reduced fees to make adoptions accessible to so many more people so that so many more children can find their forever home. All this because I took a step of faith, unsure of where it would lead me. Why am I telling you all of this? I am certainly not trying to say “look at everything I have done,” on the contrary; it is hard and extremely awkward for me to say these types of things. I instead say them to you to encourage you! For so many of you out there who have a dream, a dream you think might come true some day in the future, or maybe not at all, or have desired doing something but don’t think you can, or have the energy or time…I just want to say YOU can’t, but GOD CAN! God will give you unthinkable strength, unimaginable energy, and HE can be your caffeine! He can give you the passion and driving force to move mountains, if you only let Him. I hope this encourages you to take a step of faith and do something scary, uncomfortable, and unimaginable, and wait to be amazed by what follows!